Memories from Hannah and Nancy Seventh grade was when I was first charmed by Ben. I did weekly pull-out classes with him and Hannah during Mr. Harshfield's class. We made a solar cooking box which Ben asked to take home for a while. I don't know why he wanted it - maybe to show you, Bob and Michelle. After we built it we discovered we couldnít use it because it was winter and the solar angle at our latitude wasn't right for cooking. We made other projects - one of which was a little motor powered by solar panels. When we needed a soldering iron for this, Ben volunteered to bring one, saying, "My mom will buy anything as long as it is educational." He loved to fiddle with the knife sharpener, experimented with soldering his tennis show bottom and was generally eager and cheerful to participate in everything. He was so sweet, good-looking, kind and bright. I remember thinking he is going to be a wonderful man. Nancy ______________________________ Ben was not a wonderful dancer. He was a little stiff and often not on the beat. (We girls used to tap out the rhythm on his shoulder.) Despite this Ben was always being asked to dance by all of us, because it was fun to dance with him. Ben was always near the top of our list of boys to invite to our dances, because he was so much fun and we knew we could talk him into coming. We always fought over who got to call and invite Ben. Hannah ______________________________ Ben and Paul both had the same last name. When they both figured that out, the first thing both of them said was "just like the Eder river in Germany!" Later, Paul challenged Ben to a cereal eating contest at breakfastÖof course Ben won. Paul quit eating after only four bowls. Hannah ______________________________ Ben always tried to make sure we played Egyptian Rat Screw before our matches. It was his strategy to get all of us tensed up so we would buzz in faster to answer questions. Any geography question they asked our team was Ben's question. I was amazed how much Ben knew about placed I'd never heard of. Hannah ______________________________ The Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago has a giant periodic table on the walls of one of its spiral staircases. Ben and Brent had just read in the newspaper that a new element had been created, so they went running over to see if it was on the stairs. Ben couldn't find the new element, so he cornered some museum employee and asked if they knew their table was incomplete. Hannah ______________________________ Ben became a Pizza Pal rather than a visitor by engaging each of us no matter our age. He came in, flopped down in a chair and talked and listened with focused interest, warmth and curiosity. Ben made an emotional contact with each of us - he talked science with those who liked that, played cards and Frisbee with all comers, joked kindly with the younger ones and treated Cedar as a young man rather than as a useless kid-brother. What sealed his belonging was that he sometimes came when he knew the girls weren't there - because he was one of us. Nancy ______________________________ Ö.weíre all at a baseball game. After a while, Ben and Brent got bored and started playing Frisbee across some empty seats. Eventually one of them threw it too far and the Frisbee floated out over the edge of our balcony. Ben was really attached to his Frisbee because of all the other trips it had been on, so he and Brent went down to find it. Unfortunately, the Frisbee had hit some huge guy in the head, and he made Ben pay him $5 to get it back! Ben was outraged, but of course he paid up. Hannah ______________________________ Ben and Hannah left the 1998 August party early to go to Reed the next day. There was a sweetness and a savoring of the last days in that phase of their lives that was beautiful to watch. Lauren, Ben and Hannah shared a tent and walked around hugging and loving each other. They played Frisbee, all ages soft ball, Egyptian Rat Screw, and played in the Alsea River. At night I remember Ben watching Hannah play the stand-up bass with fascination. He said he didn't really know much about the music but that he was really proud that she could play it. I drove them back to Newport so they could pack and leave for Reed. As we drove away from the campground Ben said, "I feel like I'm leaving something really important back there."ÖI didn't know if he meant Lauren or the community. We began to talk about Homer's Oddessy. We talked about their new life at Reed as the beginning of their Oddessy and that they would explore and have their adventures and grow up and then come back to their beginnings. I have remembered this conversation as I have heard about osme of the madcap escapades of Ben's more recent years. I believe he was on his Oddessy. Nancy ______________________________ Jan. 9, 2002 Dear Bob, Michelle, and Dylan, I am thinking of you and Ben every day. There are so many things that I admire about Ben and so many reasons that I am glad I got to know him. I admire his brilliance, his openhearted interest in people and the world, and his curiosity. I admire that he followed his dreams. I admire the enthusiasm and hard work that he brought to the Habitat For Humanity when we were on the board of directors together. Most of all, I admire his kindness and sensitivity. Has Hannah ever told you about a time when Brent was visiting them at Reed, and the three of them were talking about the movie, Zorro? Brent commented that he thought that one of the actresses was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Ben was horrified and said, "Brent, how can you say that in front of Hannah?" Many times, Hannah and I have reminded each other of that comment and have smiled at that little vignette which says so much about Ben. Ben was the kind of person I would like to be and the kind of child I would like to raise. I admire you, Bob and Michelle, for raising him to be the fine young man he turned out to be. You did a great job. Love, Nancy Reid ______________________________ Bob, Michelle, and Dylan, Writing this letter, I am struck by the thought that really I should be writing to thank all of you for the privilege of having Ben as part of my life -- first here in Newport and then at Reed. I have many funny memories of Ben: chasing him up the backstop at a Reed softball game, hearing his sheepish apologies after he missed another one of our calculus tutoring sessions. During our first two years of college together, I remember Ben as a blur of motion and excitement. He would come over to my dorm room, bringing Peter and Ethan, to raid my Cheerios box and complain about the huge guys who tackled him during Rugby. He filled his room with maps and stole some chairs from a lounge somewhere to make a couch for his room. What made Ben really special was the intense concern he had for the people he loved. I remember Ben's funny expression when I came to see him after he'd burned his lip. He looked so upset that I thought he must be in pain. When I asked what was wrong though, Ben burst out "What am I going to tell my Mom?!" I think he was as worried about your feelings Michelle as about his lip! I felt, and still feel, lucky to have been one of Ben's friends. His caring and concern were a huge comfort as I left Newport and headed off to Reed. Bringing Ben, I knew I was bringing one of the best parts of home along with me. Ben always looked out for me. He gave me his warning and opinion whenever he thought I wasn't making the right choices. Ben even tried to monitor my choice of boyfriends because he didn't approve of who I'd been dating. He told me that in the future I had to consult him before dating anyone new. Another side of Ben that I remember was his pride to be able to call himself a fisherma n. Once, I was teasing Ben about his beard which had gotten very scraggly over winter break. Ben told me quite seriously that he couldn't go on the boat clean-shavenÖwhat would the other fishermen think? Ben looked forward to going home and working on the boat. He told me that after a semester at Reed when he started to feel that all the academic work was artificial and meaningless, he could come home and fish. Ben said working on the boat seemed very real and important in a way that college couldn't. Ben was a wonderful friend. I feel lucky to have known him. Thank you for sharing him with me. Hannah ______________________________