A letter from Ben to Reed friends

Ladies and Gentlemen, friends and scholars,

Twenty years and nine months ago Peter Anthony Jordan's and Johnathan
Sebastian Murphy's parents on opposite ends of our fair nation both
settled into bed with similar intentions. This Saturday we hope to
celebrate their combined product with a big game of Monopoly, and maybe
some fierce Bridge. Unless of course you fine people kindly caughf up
some monetary units allowing me to aquire sufficient EtOH in various
concentrations and flavors to get a large heard of Elephants drunk and
we rage in Matt and Hung's room in West Port 1/Sally Port and vacinity.
Nine sounds like a reasonable hour to begin, but here is never shame in
starting earlier. You can find me all day Friday in la bibliotecha or
just find Hung, Peter, Johnathan, or Noah. I know these first two weeks
have been really easy and that none of you have earned a good 'ol
biligerant break from the books and there derivatives but try to find
itin your heart for the sake of these fine boys to share marryment and
song with ODB, this saturday.

Thank you, and good day.