Letter to the Old Bastards Club

My fellow bastards, good day. Since the dawn of humans in even our
earlist versions, man has been the more expendable of the sexes. We men
used to be important to the progression, domination and continuance of
our seed and species. Now however in this modern era and especially in
more prosporous localies such as our own, we have become increasingly
useless. We may still be important to our own genetic expresion, but to
our species and the world we are obsolete and have been since the first
sperm bank and invitro fertilizaion. The sponatious death of all males,
might cause some labor shortages in more mechanized segments of the
economy and some emotional distress, but would by no means spell the
fate of the human race, and by some measures might improve things.
With this understanding it is not unreasonable to feel useless,
depressed, frusterated, horney and thirsty. Yes thirsty, for amoung our
options drinking is the most obvious answer. Some men choose to
disquise themselves amoung women, dening our hormones and inborn nature
and become sensative, carring and fashionable, thinking maybe we can
delay our eventual obsolence by blending in. Still others advocate the
destruction of sperm banks and cloning technologies world wide as a
stalling action. But we all know the best outlet of our natural
aggressive, competitive drive to destroy, creat and mate is the
consumption of alchol, some gambeling, drunken soccer on the front lawn,
storytelling, Alpha male wrestling, yelling,pyrotechnics and other
resulting inspired activities. Thus in honor of absent members Tai,
Ethan, Keith, Nick, Johnathan, Rob and to bid farewell to Peter on Nov.
15th and in January myself, I propose a celebration and expression of
manliness of epic proportions. Its been so long its kind of like that
letter you mean to write to a close friend but you wait so long it
better be one hell of a letter or you have no excusse for such a long
delay. Well gentlemen, do we want to write that letter, show Reed that
OBC was merely resting up, saving our money and livers, and not some
dead former glory, or are we dead, stalling our demise and eventual
dominations to our more sexually independent and more socially mannered

Time is short so I'll continue under the assumption of cooperation.
After talking with our boy, we would like to start the festivities
Friday afternoon at the cube if that is ok with you Noah, Jesse, with
some barbeque and quality kegs, give the populous some official party
and time for the event, as we feast and drink micro-brew in prepartion
for a later decent on campus with framepacks full of mixed drinks, cups,
ice and other goodies. As a fully mobile unit we can more effectively
spread joy throughout, and maybe play a little soccer when we're all
feeling good and ready. I don't mean this to be exclusive I just think
central organization does have its merrits. Each of you should be able
to collect a considerable amount of money by the 10th, and I am talking
considerable here, the last OBC sponsored event was the Brazilian parade
last year and we have some serious respects to pay not to mention Peter
and myself about to rage South America